I married in the sun.
against the stone of buildings before you and I were born.
into my heart confusion grows against;
the muscles fought so long to control against the pull of one magnet to another.
now we look up in, into the eyes of bullies breaking backs.
they seem so very tough, they seem so very scared of us.
I look into the mirror, for evil that just does not exist.
I don´t see what they see. try to control the pull of one magnet to another.

I miss you now, I guess I should have missed you then.
my body moves like curtains waving in and out of wind,
in and out of windows.
I can´t untangle what I feel and what would matter most.
I can´t close an eye, can´t close an eyelid.
now there´s just no point in reaching out for me.
in the dark, I´m just no good at giving relief.
in the dark, it won´t be easy to find relief
and I´m not proud that nothing will seem easy about me.
but I promise this, I won´t go my hole life telling you I don´t need.
I´ll tell you now, I guess like I should have told you then
that thunder moves like damn drawers slamming in my frame,
slamming in my framework.
I can´t untangle what I know and what should matter most.
I can´t close an eye, can´t clos an eyelid.
now there´s just no point in reaching out for you.

I listened in, yes I´m guilty of this, you should know this.
I broke down and wrote you back before you had a chance to.
forget forgotten, I am moving past this, giving notice.
I have to go, yes I know that feeling, know you´re leaving.
calm down, I´m calling you to say I´m capsized, erring on the edge of save.
calm down, I´m calling back to say I´m home now and coming around,
I´m coming around.
nobody likes to but I really like to cry. nobody likes me, maybe if I cry.
spelled out your name and list the reasons. faint of heart don´t call me back.
I imagine you and I was distant not insistant.
I followed suit and layed out on my back, imagine that.
a million hours left to think of you and think of that.
encircle me I need to be taken down.

if I don´t recover, sell this house and find something lost outside your window.
not forever. on the night I die I swear I´ll sleep outside your window.
I feel the knife going in, I´m feeling anxious.
not enough to kill me, I thought it´d happen fast.
but i´m feeling it now and I feel anxious. sleeping inches from me, I let it pass.
emy should I stop? do you think i´ll make it to the morning if it´s ritten?
stitch it up. the kind of song I know cause mother, sister, lover worry.

taken I am yours, I´m up and doing circles.
I collapse.
I might stay out longer then, I left a light on for you then.
if you show you show. when I feel like this, when I get so into myself,
I lose track of where I´m going then, lose track of how to get going again,
feel myself slowing down feel myself turning around, is this taken?
when I feel like this, when I get so sick of myself,
where are you going then, without me and not knowing then,
that we´re slowing down, you´ve got to turn right around
and tell me that I´m taken then, tell if I´m yours.
you collapse.
the prssure of this life is so you can´t be held accountable.
if you go you go. when you act like this, when you geht so into yourself,
I lose sight of common goals and letting go, so I can be all alone.
feel myself going slow, feel myself letting go. not taken, not feeling like i´m yours.
taken I am yours, I´m up and doing circles.
I collapse.
this life looks like a sentence, thought a constant game of falling short.
if you know you know. when I feel like this,
when I´m just so sick of feeling less than perfect.
isn´t right for me, I never fight to see if coming clean would get to me.
I feel myself holding back, I feel the pressure it´s finally back, I´m taken.
when you felt like this, when you saw it all come crashing down.
subtle but not underground, I was there I saw the signs
I saw unfair and so I wrote to you through other means.
I let myself finally feel taken, like I was yours.

build a wall of books between us in our bed.
repeat, repeat, the words that I know we both have said.
relax into the need, we get so comfortable.
remember when I was so strange and likeable?
I just want back in your head.
I´m not unfaithful but I´ll stray.
when I get a little scared, I run, run, run.
when I jerk away from holding hands with you,
I know these habits hurt important parts of you.
remember when I was sweet and unexplainable?
nothing like this person, un-loveable?

I look the train back, back to where I came from.
I took it all alone, it´s been so long I know.
imagine me there my heart asleep with no air.
begging ocean please, help me drown these memories.
all I need to hear is that you´re not mine.
I´m moving east then, somewhere far away from the sight of my hands,
the sight of me not moving.
you can´t just hop a plane and come and visit me again.
I claim it´s in my head and I regret offering.
you take a second, take a year, you took me out and took me in
and told me all of this and then you take a moment, take a year,
you helped me out, I listened in, you taught me all of this and then.

oh and I´m feeling directionless, but that´s to be expected
and I know that´s the best.
and in creeps the morning and another day´s lost.
you´ve just written wondering and I reply fast.
all you need to save me.
call and i´ll be curled on the floor hiding out from it all.
and I won´t take any other call.
I feel like a fool so I´m going to stop troubling you.
buried in my yard, a letter to send to you.
and if I forget or god forbid die too soon,
hope that you´ll hear me, know that I wrote to you.
all you need to say to me

tell me that you know another way to get it done.
it´s not me, or how I would be, but it´s a different situation.
you lay awake in the night just staring at the ceiling above.
pulling pieces of it out, it´s such a waste of time.
keep on fighting to remember that nothing is lost in the end
when you burn your live down.
get me to the door, out of bed or on to track, I´m not sure.
starting over, it´s a different situation.
you wake up in the night and refuse to be afraid of it now.
unfolding pieces of it faster, don´t you waste your time.
you´ve been planning to remember this, so nothing will be lost in the end.
then you burn your life down.
I drive around the block and I´m not looking to my right.
I feel the glass against my cheek and I can´t see you in the light.
I break my heart around this.

I felt you in my legs before I ever met you.
and when I laid beside you for the first time I told you,
" I feel you in my heart and I don´t even know you. "
and now we´re saying bye.
I was nineteen, calling.
I felt you in my life before I ever thought to,
feel the need to lay down beside you and tell you
" I feel you in my heart and I don´t even knoe you "
and now we´re saying bye.
I was nineteen, call me.
flew home, back to where we met.
stayed inside I was so upset.
cooked up a plan so good exept
I was all alone, you were all I had.
love you, you were all I had.
love me, I was your´s right?

I want to draw you a floorplan of my head and heart.
I want to give directions, helpful hints, what you´ll be looking for.
I know I hold this loss in my heart forever.
all eyes are on me now.
I want your lungs to stop working without me.
I think about writing you, I thought about calling you.
what was I looking for? what am I looking for?
I know, I hold this pain in my heart forever.
I shouldn´t go but I can´t really help itwhen I feel this pressure.
I shouldn´t go when I feel this building

when I was eight I was sure I was growing nerves, like steel in my palm.
make a map of what you see, direct pain effectively.
I was eight, I was sure I was growing pains like lead in my feed.
s.o.s. to my mother, take the hinges off the door.
oh, oh, sugar spell it out. like o, like h, in your gut.
when I was four plus a ten I was swinging fists, like nails in a board.
pull your hands inside of you, six years till I´ll be through.
I was four plus a ten, I was swinging fists, like a race to be sure.
s.o.s. to my mother, take the hinges off the door.
oh, oh, sugar spell it out. like o, like h, in your gut.

dark you can´t come soon enough for me.
saved from one more day of misery.
everything I love get back from me now.
everyone I love, I need you now.
don´t forget a million miles from me.
safe, and another day can pass by me.
so what I lied, I lie to me too.
hold out for the ones you know will love you.
hold out for the ones you know will love too.
right to the the edge, I´m barely there.
slow to make my move I´m almost there.
everything I say, I say to me first.
everything I do, I do to me first.

I won´t regret saying this, this thing that I´m saying.
is it better then keeping my mouth shut, that goes without saying.
call, break it off. call, break my own heart.
maybe I would have been something you´d be good at.
maybe you would have been something I´d be good at.
but now we´ll never know.
I won´t be sad but in case I´ll go there everyday to make myself feel bad.
there´s a chance I´ll start to wonder if this was the thing to do.
I won´t be out long but I still think it better if you take your time over here.
I think that´s for the best.